The benefits of crying: Why we should support our children to let out their tears

When our children cry, it can feel both overwhelming and stressful. Often, we try our best to get them to stop by either distracting them or giving in to their requests. However, did you know that crying can actually promote positive child development, and there are even health benefits to allowing our children (and ourselves) to cry. 

1.     Crying offers a healthy way for the body to release emotion and stress.

Recent research has shown the chemical makeup of tears to contain cortisol and prolactin both of which are stress hormones which can build up in our bodies. Research has also shown tears to contain leucine encephalin (a natural painkiller) and Manganese (a natural mood regulator). When we cry, our bodies are releasing these chemicals which can build up in our bodies in times of sadness and stress. When we tell our children (or ourselves) to stop crying, we are stopping them from engaging in a healthy and natural human response to anger, stress or sadness.

2.     When we stop our children (or ourselves) from crying we are often just trading one outlet for another. 

Stopping our children from crying does not mean we are stopping their negative feelings. If our children have had a rough day, crying can help them to process, heal and move on. Especially if we support them through this process. If we don’t allow our children (or ourselves) the time and space to cry, this emotion may transfer to being expressed in another less healthy way, for example, through experiencing repressed rage or feelings of depression.

3.     The idea that we must “toughen” our children up to cope with the realities of life is outdated and damaging to our health.

How many times have we been told to put on a brave face? Even among adults today, our fast-paced lives see us experiencing high levels of stress which we are often taught to repress in order to simply carry on. However, disconnecting and hiding from our emotions can lead to long term negative physical and emotional health outcomes. In contrast, allowing our children (and ourselves) the time and space to cry when they need to, can improve our self-connection, and can in turn promote positive health and wellbeing.

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